I sent out a mass event invitation to members of the Web Community Forum Facebook group last week. After this, I noticed a huge spike in my friend requests. At first, I didn’t put two and two together. But I did notice that not a single one of the people who friended me — none of whom I had ever met in the real world — felt the need to provide me with any context for how they knew me.
I sent back messages to the first two people who requested my friendship, politely asking, “how do I know you?” In both cases, the reply was, “you just invited me to your event.” Feeling silly, I responded to subsequent requests by checking through the list of Web Community Forum group members to see if there was a match. If so, I went ahead and approved the request.
This raises a few points of Fetiquette (etiquette in Facebook):
- Is it acceptable to send out a mass event invitation via the “host” function that allows you to pair a group with an event, or should you invite people more sparingly as you get to know them?
- If you’re an admin, shouldn’t you be able to recognize every single one of your group members by name and photo without having to look through the list? (And does this make me a bad admin?)
- Is it acceptable to friend someone who sent you an event invitation via a group without providing context?
What do you guys think?
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Mari Smith 09.24.07 at 11:22 am
I think this is an extremely valid point, Teresa. I love how the writers of this blog specifically ask for anyone sending a friend request to include a personal note to make the connection. It makes total sense.
This is one of my pet peeves. I believe *every* friend request should have that personal note field filled out.
I like to keep all my ‘how do you know…’ fields up to date. Once our friends list (and group member size) gets to a point where it’s not possible to recall everyone by first name (lol), we need to know how the connection was made.
My two cents.
Cheers,
Mari
Jason Preston 09.24.07 at 12:27 pm
1. Yes
2. No, No (doing so might make you a REALLY GOOD admin, but it’s not a necessary skill)
3. I’m less of a stickler for personal messages than a lot of people are.
I really appreciate it when people send a note along with a friend request, but I figure that if someone is friending me on Facebook and I don’t recognize them, they’ve run across a post of mine on a blog or in a group, and I’m happy to make the connection.
I do, however, tend to only accept requests from people with profile pictures. It makes me think you’re a real person
Teresa Valdez Klein 09.24.07 at 3:54 pm
Frankly, it is also one of my pet peeves. I think this might actually break out along gender lines. If Facebook were a dark alley, men would be able to walk down it freely, while women would have our keys wrapped around one hand and our pepper spray in the other.
I’m more cautious about who I accept as a friend because who knows what kinds of creepazoids are out there.
Jason: I’m curious, do thoughts like that ever cross your mind?
Jason Preston 09.24.07 at 4:04 pm
@Teresa I’m a poor example for drawing gender lines because I’m also the guy who forgot to lock his car when parking at LAX.
So, while they frequently escape my attention, I know many guys who are concerned as you are.
I think, just because I love polls, you might try to make this into one and throw it up in a post
Mari Smith 09.24.07 at 10:45 pm
Hmmm, a gender discussion would certainly be welcome and intriguing!
I tend to think it is more of a personality thing, than gender. Some people are generally more cautious than others. There are some interesting discussions on the ‘Psychology of Facebook’ Group at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5128343945&ref=mf
Also, the cool thing with FB, is it’s easy to ‘unfriend’ someone or reject a friend request when the person is clearly not a match with with you/your interests. I confess, I’ve done this several times myself.
Anti Social 12.31.07 at 10:02 am
In the scenario you’ve described, it would be very acceptable for the no message or context friend adds. I would expect, after sending such an invitation, that any any all new friend requests would be the result of this action.